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The Stages of a Presidential Break-Up


The field has begun narrowing down and candidates are dropping like flies.  Whether you loved Martin O’Malley, Carly Fiorina, or Jeb! you’re all going through the same thing.  Your presidential hopeful has suspended their campaign (political fancy talk for they’re calling off their bid for president).  When your personal favorite decides to drop out of the race it’s like a breakup.  You don’t know whether to cry, scream, or run to the next available person.

1) Shock.  You can’t actually believe you heard the words, “While I suspend my candidacy today…”


2) Denial.  If you tell yourself they didn’t actually drop out then they didn’t actually drop out.


3) Sadness. You can’t just leave me like this! You. Were. Our. Only. Hope. When did I start crying?


4) Relief.  Okay, maybe I do love you but did you really have a chance?  I mean, really truly?


5) Acceptance.  You’ve finally let yourself say out loud that they’ve dropped out of the race.


6) On the Prowl. Not some much a feeling but rather a state of mind.  Looking out for your next candidate.


(Or in this case, not attached to a specific candidate)

7) Officially off the market. Not too long after, you find a new (presidential) love affair and are back campaigning.


Cheers to moving on and hopefully this candidate lasts!

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