Here’s the fool proof guide to succeed in politics as a woman:
- Appear approachable, but not too approachable. You’re still a woman after all and have to prove you can stand up to the men.
- If you don’t seem nice everyone will think you’re a b–. So smile – women are pretty when they smile after all and your looks matter more as a woman.
- Be attractive.
- Not too attractive since that’s intimidating and people won’t take you seriously.
- Make sure you do everything you can to get your point across. DO NOT interrupt though, that’s rude and you’re a lady after all.
- Whenever you go against a male politician one of them will blame your aggressiveness on your period so do not have a period.
- Wear pink to appear feminine.
- One word: Pantsuits. It gives the illusion that you’re still masculine enough to run for office. If it’s a pink pantsuit that’s perfect.
- If you’re older make sure you appear grandmotherly. However, because you’re a woman people will draw attention to the fact that you are older – even if you’re the same age as the men running – so don’t appear too grandmotherly.
- Remember no matter how accomplished you are it doesn’t matter. Secretary of State? You messed up that one. CEO? Still, you messed up.
- Be overqualified for the position (no being Secretary of State or a CEO of a Fortune 500 company is not enough).
- Draw attention to the fact that you are a woman running for public office– we still need that first female president!
- Not too much attention however, people will say that you are only electable since you’re a woman and will therefore not vote for you to prove a point.
- Be a superhuman who can hypnotize people to vote for you.
Now as long as you do this you’re going to get elected! Congrats on public office!
Disclaimer: This is a satire piece and is not meant to be taken seriously.