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How to Succeed in Politics as a Woman

Here’s the fool proof guide to succeed in politics as a woman!

 

Here’s the fool proof guide to succeed in politics as a woman:

  1. Appear approachable, but not too approachable.  You’re still a woman after all and have to prove you can stand up to the men.
  2. If you don’t seem nice everyone will think you’re a b–. So smile – women are pretty when they smile after all and your looks matter more as a woman.
  3. Be attractive.
  4. Not too attractive since that’s intimidating and people won’t take you seriously.
  5. Make sure you do everything you can to get your point across.  DO NOT interrupt though, that’s rude and you’re a lady after all.
  6. Whenever you go against a male politician one of them will blame your aggressiveness on your period so do not have a period.
  7. Wear pink to appear feminine.
  8. One word: Pantsuits.  It gives the illusion that you’re still masculine enough to run for office.  If it’s a pink pantsuit that’s perfect. 
  9. If you’re older make sure you appear grandmotherly.  However, because you’re a woman people will draw attention to the fact that you are older – even if you’re the same age as the men running – so don’t appear too grandmotherly.
  10. Remember no matter how accomplished you are it doesn’t matter.  Secretary of State? You messed up that one.  CEO?  Still, you messed up.
  11. Be overqualified for the position (no being Secretary of State or a CEO of a Fortune 500 company is not enough).
  12. Draw attention to the fact that you are a woman running for public office– we still need that first female president!
  13. Not too much attention however, people will say that you are only electable since you’re a woman and will therefore not vote for you to prove a point.
  14. Be a superhuman who can hypnotize people to vote for you.

Now as long as you do this you’re going to get elected!   Congrats on public office!

Disclaimer:  This is a satire piece and is not meant to be taken seriously.

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